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Friends, Buddies, Amigos

Friday, 14 April 2017

So, I suppose I wanted to write this to all the girls out there who having watched Girls, Sex and the City and various other girl gang/ squad centric programmes who feel like maybe their social circle is falling short.

Throughout my twenties I had various friends and buddies that I had met through school, college, Uni and work and some of them I am very fortunate to have as brilliant friends still today but many of them have since gone off on their own path. I recall watching every episode of Sex and the City - wishing I had this close circle of trusted friends that fought each others corner, hung out out on dull Sunday mornings and genuinely spurred each other on in my day to day life.

Oddly my friendships overall in my 20s weren't like that, fragmented, drunken and often flakey these friendships were hung on frivolity, the need to have a good time and not always any real common grounds or interests.

And then something shifted, I changed, got older and friendships were no longer formed, maintained and centred around nights at the coolest bar, having a good time and happening to be in the same life stage, these friendships slowly drifted away and slowly I started to find my own crowd.

It sometimes feels like finding good friends is like going vintage shopping, drifting through life you pick up these gems of friendships hidden in mundane day to day life - it is absolute rubbish that you don't make friends as you grow older. However, you cannot force friendship. I often liken it to the pressure to make mum friends when you have a baby to being friends with someone just because you both drive a Ford Fiesta - it's not how friendship works.

In the last few years, as well as having some legend childhood friends and my best friend from Uni I have made friends with some amazing women, of varying age, background, passions but they all have something in common they are truly genuine people.

 Too old now to waste time with girly competition I find myself avoiding that trait at all costs but truly believe the people that you surround yourself with should empower and motivate you and vice versa. I am inspired daily by these women, working mums that juggle the world, one little blonde that is on track to run the country and another that although working through divorce displays absolute grace and dignity. Like a magpie I see these beautiful traits and I want to surround myself with their positive influence stoked that they want to be my friend.

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