'It's all about the base(line)' Facebook Freedom

Sunday, 4 October 2015

It feels a bit like at the moment everything is changing, but changing in a good way.

This year has seen a new job, new friends and new challenges and I suppose I hadn't realised that this might in many ways change me too.

A big part of my job, is to baseline success, benchmark achievements and progress and strangely enough recently this has involved looking at people. People engagement, which has specifically made me think about how individuals measure success. I have often spoken about how people directly baseline against each other, having a mental bingo tick list that typically comprises of car, house, husband and that these are a success criteria akin to the essentials list on a job description....

I then realised that in actual fact we do this baselining on a daily basis through what we read and what social media we use, often gauging other peoples lives and measuring their success against our own.

I have always been a real Facebook fan and in its purest sense I think it is a great tool, for connecting with distant relatives and keeping in touch. However, there is a far more malevolent side to Facebook which we all know, ' the look how fabulous my life is', the 'can I just show you my new car/house/tropical beach' I am just as guilty a culprit as the next person, but why? Why do we need the validation? If we are happy - what is this necessity and is it just feeding our ego? The indulgent ID.

It suddenly dawned on me that I had limited my Facebook posts to brands hiding a significant proportion of 'friends', I felt sharing every aspect of my life with these 'friends' I never see as fairly pointless and I no longer gave hoot how many 'likes' I received.

I realised I missed phone calls, long, ear warming phone calls, I realised I missed living in the moment. I realised I didn't want to be voyeur into someone else's life. I want see friends holiday snaps over a glass of wine, I want to see a friend's engagement ring sparkle in the flesh and I want to congratulate people in person. I want to invest my time in my nearest and dearest - not 304 people I haven't seen in the last 5 years. I miss letters and cards, I miss genuine sentiment.

I also realised that it took me away from here, my little space where I get to talk about things I love and send it out to the ether.

So I gave up Facebook a week ago, I went back once yesterday to check my messages to realise I had missed an invitation to a  Burlesqueathon....

The world is still spinning on its axis and I am happy on my terms with my own measurements that matter to me,  my boys laughter, the number of lipsticks I own and possibly how many bottles of red on the side ;)


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