Bingo for the Beautiful Ones


Thursday, 10 July 2014

Hey Pretty Peeps,
Me at 22

I have been AWOL again but this time supporting on a great American project with 10 of the most inspirational young women I have ever met and who have really made me reflect and think about my twenties (now being 29 hindsight is a wonderful thing)...

I also recently watched this presentation ''Why 30 is not the new 20'' via TED Talks and although I don't agree with all of the content relating to the mindset that you need to completely knuckle down in your 20s, the content really struck a cord building on from a few of the philosophical chats that we as a group had shared over the past month.

So I thought, as I cannot be with them in the USA to impart any of my thoughts or reflections I would write them this post.

Dear 'Beautiful Twenty Something',

Just a few little thoughts from a nearly 'Thirty Something',

1. Do not enter into 'Life Bingo'. So many women treat life like a tick box exercise, career - check, husband - check, children - check, car - check, dog- check, I am not sure if this is linked to status or success but all of these things are irrelevant if they are not choices that you have made based on your happiness. You might meet the love of your life at 50, you might change career path completely or decide children aren't of you. You write your life plan do not let society dictate.

2. Class is Irrelevant. The Class Society is still very much alive and well, but it is irrelevant. Do not get caught up in ever thinking because someone has a better background, education, car, handbag - whatever, is better than you. Never get embroiled in the mentality of seniority or status. Class comes before a fool and I know too many women that married for beautiful houses and riches that are miserable. Whose the fool?
In a professional environment treat everyone as an equal, say good morning to everyone, the cleaner, the security guard, the CEO - understand that for a business to function, every cog has an essential part to play and should be valued equally.

3. Be Beautiful and Brainy. I love beauty and fashion (as you well know) but women are more than the sum of their make up bag. Remember this. It is great to be a beautiful woman but far more thrilling to be a beautiful and bright young woman who is going to take the world by storm. Be inquisitive, Be interested. Fascinated by the world around you, now that is truly beautiful. You

N.B Kim Kardashian is not a role model.

4. Love completely. In my twenties other than the wonderful man I married, I dated great men and fell in love completely once. Not all great love affairs work out, bad timing and changing personalities and drivers can lead to huge heart break but this is the decade where you learn most about your heart. Love freely, I have never regretted following my heart. Love without any preconception, My first boyfriend was a bin man, he did a hard days work, had a good heart and loved his mum. Let your heart love whoever it chooses.

 Finally, Marry a man you admire, not for money or for status but for morality and utter adoration.

5. Compete wisely I have always been quite competitive, I love to achieve, at 17 my best friend and I were both on track to get A* for a Fine Art exam. I got the A*, she didn't and our friendship was never the same. It was a pretty hollow victory.
Competition if used wisely will spur you on, make you up your game and also help you reflect on your own personal drivers and dreams. Competition is not a dirty word if used in this way.
But when you mix competition with insecurity and you compete just to be better than somebody else that is petty and negative. Women are sadly known for negative competitive behaviour in the work place - don't go there. You can champion others and still be a success yourself. Champagne for one is a pretty lonely place to be.

6. Feed your soul and your belly. Eat a rich varied diet with a good percentage of cake thrown in. Be really wary of cutting whole food groups out of your diet unless a doctor has prescribed. I am sure acai berries and kale are great power foods but they are not enough to sustain a growing woman. A hungry woman is no fun and I have never once met a man that found a 'ravenous salad eating' woman a joyful dinner companion. Never control food in a detrimental way to your body. Your body is a temple BUT a glass of wine and a chocolate eclair will make your soul happy :)

Finally, enjoy every moment of your twenties, trust me the fun is just beginning.

Much Love

D

Aka FFF

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